At random times, the memory of my deceased brother suddenly pops into my mind. To provide a little background, I never had the opportunity to say "goodbye" in person. At his passing, time and distance separated us, making it impossible to be there. We talked often on the phone before he died. His fondness for my interest in the paranormal led him, in a most gracious way typical of him, to discuss with me a possible method he would get a message to me after he passed. We came up with a "secret phrase" known only to the both of us. It would be a way of confirmation of not only life after death, but proof of the power of love crossing the seemingly impenetrable boundary separating life and death.
You may be familiar with the prevailing commonality among some on their death beds, where they see and/or talk to a loved one who preceded them into the hereafter, and by now, you may have heard of the recent passing in the U.S. of the beloved actress Betty White, just short of her 100th birthday. What I just read about this event was what Betty's assistant revealed to have witnessed at the bedside, claiming Betty's last word was "Allen." If you are unfamiliar with what the name "Allen" has to do with anything, it was the name of her beloved husband who passed June 9, 1981. It was no secret he was the love of her life and she made it known as such. But the story of Betty's last word lacks detailed context.
Upon learning of this, what popped into my mind was this: Did she just mention the name or was there more to it? Was she acting as if he was in the room with her and she was talking to him? No doubt many of you have witnessed or have heard of similar experiences in your lifetime. I can add my own to this topic.
1) as told to me by someone close to me, when their mother was on her deathbed dying, she called out to her own deceased mother, by name, but not in English. She spoke in German, the language of the country she was born in before emigrating to the U.S. some 50+ years prior. She was repeatedly noticed physically reaching out to what was drawing her attention from one corner of her hospital room near the ceiling. Her words in German were, "don't leave me, take me with you." Her organs were shutting down and she was given medications to make her as comfortable as possible. Yet, not outwardly exhibiting the effects of any medication, she appeared aware of her surroundings and her mood was an agitated one, several times attempting to tear her clothes off. Contrary to the phenomenon known as "Paradoxical Undressing," her disrobing attempts were not due to temperature induced reasons in her room. One possibility was to disassociate herself from any worldly attachments to quicken her departure from this world, making her free to go with her mother. The witnessed "visits" happened multiple times. She passed shortly after this.
2) this related event is from another person personally known to me. This person was not awake, heavily medicated, lying in the hospital ICU, dying from irreversible organ failure. Her neighbor who at the time was paying her a visit, noted that the patient, while asleep, was verbalizing in German, her native language as well. The nurse in the room at the time, and who knew some of the German language stated she was calling out to her father, not her mother, as many are known to do in these deathbed experiences. Unfortunately, the nurse was not fluent enough in German to translate anything being spoken. People close to the patient said she was known to have been closer to her father than mother (both parents were deceased). This was observed as a one-time event as far as is known. She passed shortly after this.
It has been hypothesized that deathbed visions are because of some mysterious activation in the neocortex of the brain. Neocortex contains the brain’s primary visual and auditory cortex. Interestingly, DMT experiments, which are intended to stimulate the neocortex of test individuals, seldom report results where a parent or loved one is involved. According to Dr. Gregory Shushan, an Honorary Research Fellow at the Religious Experience Research Centre, University of Wales Trinity Saint David, and who has authored the books “Near-Death Experience in Indigenous Religions,” and “Conceptions of the Afterlife in Early Civilizations,” the more common communicant in these experiments run the gamut from God to aliens, but seldom "mom" or a deceased relative. This allows for an argument for credibility for these alleged experiences exhibited by the dying. Lending weight to this argument is the fact that statistically, alleged deathbed visits are often by the dead mothers of the dying. Not limited to just mothers, however other visits indicate angels or even their deceased pets waiting for the dying. By and large, these visits are of a calming, welcoming, loving nature involving no fear or terror.
Maybe dying isn't the lonely event we discern it to be, full of sorrow of what is being left behind.
Try and put yourself in the place of the already departed as a parent. Often, the dying claim that the loved one who they are addressing in the room, has come to help take them away. If you were able to, as a deceased parent, wouldn't you want to, if possible/or allowed, be at your child's side to welcome and guide them on their further journey? Do we as parents ever stop protecting or aiding our children, no matter what their age?... of course not!
An associated curiosity is with all that is going on, suffering, pain, etc., why is the death bed vision experienced at all? Surely, that cannot be foremost thought occupying the dying person's mind! Yet, credibility is lent to such occurrences from the unprovable and unexplainable, documented cases where a witness or even multiple witnesses alleges seeing the apparitional presence that the dying were noticed calling out to! Deathbed visions are seen mostly by people who approach death gradually, such as those suffering from life-threatening injuries or terminal illnesses. Only about 10 percent of dying people are conscious shortly before their deaths and of these, between and estimated 50 and 60 percent of them experience these visions.
I have previously submitted the untestable hypothesis that contact from departed loved ones is permitted by the Creator ONLY in an indirect fashion. These such deathbed experiences and others not involving the dying, such as visitations in our dreams would be a good example of this.
Is it possible that a normal process of dying enables seeing less and less of the world we are in and more of the next one awaiting us? Can the dying process trigger a glimpse into what lies ethereally ahead, in essence stripping away the numerous blocks and filters of our consciousness while healthy, that prevented such clairvoyance?
The bravest person I have ever known, my dear, departed brother, has yet to send me the "secret phrase." Yet, that fact doesn't make me discouraged. My expectation when I die is not to see my mother or father waiting for me. Instead, somehow, just somehow, I know my brother will be waiting to take my hand, leading me into the next life, continuing to take care of his "little brother," as he had always done before, and as how our mother and father would have wanted it.
- MoonJoey